My Problem with Self-Improvement

By now, I am sure most of you have heard of the term self-improvement and are familiar with the community that prioritizes self-progression. In recent years, the community has grown a large legion of followers that are motivated by reaching a state of "self-actualization" that promises the hopes of lasting happiness. To achieve this elevated status, self-improvement junkies advise adopting a restrictive schedule and learning the value of isolation. For instance, some of the popular commitments include; reading self-improvement books, strict dieting that consists of mostly rice and chicken, listening to podcasts rather than music, getting to sleep early every night, and working out as much as possible. I will not argue against the benefit of these practices as I adhere to a lot of them myself, but I will confidently tell you that most of the self-improvement content you will consume is bullshit. As someone who has previously waved the flags of self-improvement, I can confirm that my self-improvement journey left me feeling worse than better. I have two big issues with self-improvement; let me explain.

First, self-improvement is contradictory. The goal of self-improvement is to reach a point where you don't feel the need to improve yourself anymore; this is where a problem arises. For example, people will endure self-improvement to be happier, but once they are satisfied they will stop. This simple formula is very flawed. The true value of self-improvement comes from creating the discipline and appropriate self-control to achieve what you desire, not reaching a defined goal. More often than not, people will get hyper-focused on the destination and where they want to be, and will bypass the joy of the journey. The goal of self-improvement should be to learn discipline and enjoy the gradual progression you make over time, if it's not I suggest you don't try self-improvement. Trust me when I say that being focused on the end goal will only leave you more susceptible to frustration along the journey.

Second, self-improvement should be an introspective journey. A lot of people undertake self-improvement to manifest changes in their external environment. For instance, many people will undergo self-improvement for shallow and conceited desires. The impulse to have more than others, whether it be money or attention, is nothing more than egotism. Tyler Durden from Fight Club describes this perfectly when he said, "Self-improvement is masturbation." What he means here is that self-improvement is just another form of playing with yourself. I believe that self-improvement should not be used to fuel your ego but rather to attain peace with yourself. I think it's better to refer to it as a journey of self-love and learning. When you adopt the title of self-improvement, you are essentially setting in your mind that you are not enough as you are. You desire to change yourself and thus you are insufficient. This is the reason many people feel the same inadequacies even after achieving all their goals. Money alone will never make you feel happy. Popularity will never cure the loneliness you feel. Having a partner that you love and care for, will not create a sense of love for yourself. What I am getting at here is that self-improvement is best when partnered with self-love. You should not expect to learn self-love by supplementing yourself with things outside of you; practice self-love and accept your insecurities for what they are; that is how you will get the most out of self-improvement.

I hope this information was interesting and insightful!